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My regrets own me [Rose]

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Twelve of Helidos
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PostSubject: My regrets own me [Rose] December 9th 2015, 12:25

He moved through the falling snows silently, amber eyes downcast as he left the Agavos territory for the last time- like a bird he would spread his wing and fly to other lands with the coming Winter. He looked distracted and didn't seem to be moving in any particular direction. His paws threaded through the cool snows, unfocused gaze shining slightly in the moonlight. It wasn't even that late but at such a time of the year, the daylight hours were short lived before darkness once again took its hold. His breath was visible in front of his maw with each exhale and small shiver danced across his body, the breezes that crossed the lands were bitter and cutting. He was angry, self hatred burning in his stomach. He was always hard on himself, convincing himself from birth that he was nothing but a burden to his parents and his pack. His pack definitely helped convince him so anyway. Snarling bitterly, he pounced at a flake of snow as it drifted towards the ground slowly. Snapping his fangs, he felt them close on what just felt like cold air but the flake was gone. He had heard of the war between Helidos and Erenyx, heard of how the demonic alpha had slain the tiny alphess and it made guilt writhe in his gut like a trapped snake. Maybe, just maybe, if he'd hadn't left Helidos like a stinking coward he could have made a difference and maybe she wouldn't be dead. He grit his teeth and lashed his tail, stalking forwards through the snow. She didn't deserve death like that. He would have gladly sacrificed himself for her well being but instead he had been hiding out in Agavos. 'Worthless dirty blooded mutt!' He could almost hear the words of fellow apprentices in his old pack being screamed at him with the wind and he broke into a run- paws throwing up flurries of snow.

He hadn't intended on going this way but it seemed like his paws had led him towards the lands of Helidos and he came to a cautious stop as he reached the borders. Why was he here? He stepped forward cautiously until there was only a mouse length between him and the border. A border he had stepped across with ease so many times before which was now foreign and different to him. Shifting uncomfortably, he let his amber gaze shift from side to side, almost expecting someone to come chase him off but all was quiet save the howling winds. He liked his lips nervously, edging closer to the borders with eye's unnaturally wide and slightly crazed. He was distressed and dazed, uncertain as to why he was standing here. He had to settle things, he could become a part of Helidos again and make up for leaving them, they needed more members at such a terrible time. And if they didn't accept him he'd simply wander, he couldn't stand going back to Agavos to sit in that pack and let guilt and regret eat away at him. But already he was feeling guilty for leaving that pack, he had made an error and he would be forever chased in a circle of regret. Throwing back his head he let his mind empty and without even bothering to consider the consequences he let out a howl that floated into the starry sky- filled with regrets, anger and longing. He needed to belong.

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PostSubject: Re: My regrets own me [Rose] December 15th 2015, 10:12

Rose stood in the pack clearing, her deep amber brown eyes searching the area in silence. Her ears rolled forward and she winced as her thoughts decided to take a darker path that day. She let her body shiver in the cold as she shifted from paw to paw with a gentle gaze. She shifted once more, turning her face away from the sharp winds that decided to blow through her lands that day. My lands. My pack. She rolled the thoughts off her mind like a gentle little water drop-lit. After all this, how can I keep their morale up? Who do I trust at the border..? Quinn chose me to be Alphess, yet... it's hard to accept she's gone. Her mind whirred like a storm that wanted to rip the entire forest down. She huffed out a sigh and turned towards the border. She was about halfway there when she heard the call, something that touched her ears and reminded her of when she was accepted. She walked slowly, allowing the wolf at the border to wait in thought. She mixed with the shadows and soon found her target. Her eyes danced with curiosity, her mind tried to place the wolf before. She stepped lightly, making her way to the larger wolf and sitting herself. Her voice echoed into the silence. "Who are you?" She could smell the Agavos scents on him. "A scout from Agavos, perhaps?" She couldn't recall where she had seen him, but she decided to keep her rank and name out of the equation. "What brings you to Helidos?" She cocked her head to the side, interest in seeing the brutes reply. She was small, and felt the urge to give the poor brute a home. She always felt that, wanting others to feel like they belong. She gave a warm mile, though her heart broke as she sat there. She could the pack and their sadness, yet she had to lift their joy somehow.

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PostSubject: Re: My regrets own me [Rose] December 15th 2015, 11:39

Silence followed his howl for a long time but Twelve did not mind in the slightest, although his mind was a scary place at the moment- it gave him time to try and tame it. And if no one replied at all, he'd simply wander or possibly return to Agavos once his mind calmed. When that would be he did not know, it had been a mess since the very day he'd been told Quinn had been slain by Teren in a vicious battle involving the two packs over Quinn's murdered sister. His amber gaze flared with anger as his claws sank into the snow, hatred towards the monster that ran that chaotic pack hit him so strongly it almost stunned him. Bitter winds tugged at his pelt as the moonlight shone down, the snow glittering in the silver moonlight beautifully. His breath puffed in little clouds in front of him with each exhale, and he was occasionally getting spooked by things that weren't really there. Soon sounds caught his attention, pricked ears hearing them from quite a while off due to his being on edge leaving him very aware of every single sound. He crouched tensely, almost expecting some wolf to come snapping at him aggressively and he narrowed his amber gaze- squinting to the shadows. Finally a ghostly form became visible and as it came closer he could make it out to be a white pelted fae. His heart bet strongly and quickly and his breaths came quick and shallow as he remained crouched- tail flicking from side to side across the snow covered ground. It took him a few moments but as she neared he finally recognized her as Delta Rose, she had been Delta in Helidos during his time there anyway, they'd spoken briefly before but it had been brief so it was understandable for her to not recognize him. It might've been nice though, he had been in Helidos for quite a while but had seemed to go unnoticed by everyone so had left for Agavos when it was first created....and now Quinn was dead...

Shaking himself, he would straighten a bit, trying to look more composed and lose the slightly wild look that clung to him. A respectful dip of the head was given as he rolled his shoulders back, amber gaze still cautious as it flicked from side to side, the shadows seemed darker than usual and he could swear they were reaching for him. Shivering lightly, the brute turned back to the petite fae, eyes sorrowful as she asked what he was doing here. He hadn't even decided to come here...it had just...happened. He thought for a few silent moments, preparing and readying himself to speak- refusing to let his voice waver. "Delta Rose? Well, I knew you as Delta anyway. It's Twelve...I went from Healer to Warrior in Helidos a good while back. I-I...came to ask if I can rejoin. I heard what happened with Quinn...please believe me I say I am no Scout of Agavos. I am merely a fool controlled by guilt and regret" He sighed heavily, snow settling on his fluffed up back. "I did join Agavos yes but I am filled with regret for letting Helidos fight without me by their side, I want to help rebuild this pack after such a tragic loss. Want to serve under its leaders once again and put all my efforts into redeeming myself and looking after those who deserve to still be united with ones lost because of the black demon over in Erenyx" He glanced away, anxiety stirring deep in his gut. He didn't know what he'd do if she turned him away, that would mean he wouldn't be able to do anything to show his regret and he'd be left to rot with his guilt. He looked up, speaking words not completely necessary but he wanted to say it anyway. He needed her to understand. "It is an underestimated thing, guilt, for those that are sensitive enough to be affected by it are in grave danger for once it latches on and begins to feed off of your soul it will drain everything from you until you're an empty shell." He inhaled deeply, falling silent then. It was up to Rose now, what she said next was much more important to him than she'd every understand. His tail flicked from side to side as he waited in silence, eyes darting around occasionally as he was still rather on edge.

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Other Character(s): Delta Caspian - Guardian Tundra - Lead Warrior Claudia - Rogue Lynx


Last edited by Warrior Twelve on December 17th 2015, 06:31; edited 1 time in total
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PostSubject: Re: My regrets own me [Rose] December 15th 2015, 14:24

She inhaled a sharp breath, staring deep into his eyes as she thought. She licked her muzzle and nodded softly. "I vaguely remember you." She said quietly, sorrow filling her eyes as she watched him. "It's not your fault she died, Twelve." She leaned forward and ruffled his fur like he was a pup before leaning back and watching him closely. "I know about guilt. I am no longer Delta, but Alphess instead." She paused slightly and decided to tell the whole story. "Alphess Quinn appointed me as her female Guardian, I was overjoyed to be able to protect her and her family. But alas, I failed to do my job. When we returned that day, Azul brought us together and told us that Quinn had told him of the new ruler should she die. I was made leader, and yet guilt covers me for not being able to protect my leader." She paused to let the words sink in. "I have spent my time healing the others, so your knowledge in herbs is very welcomed. Tell me, what other skills do you posses? Surely having gone from Helidos to Agavos... surely you have some knowledge of the other packs?" She pondered out loud as she looked at him a sweet gaze. She felt his pain, and she shared hers with him openly. She shrugged, letting her muscles relax as she studied the wolf with curiosity. She knew she was asking quite a bit from the Warrior, but she needed to know everything about Agavos, to know if they were a threat to her family, her pack. She needed more knowledge of Erenyx, she needed to know how to protect her family better then she had before.

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PostSubject: Re: My regrets own me [Rose] December 16th 2015, 18:45

He couldn't hold her intense gaze for long and let his own amber one drop down to his creamy paws- shuffling them in the snow anxiously. He nodded slowly as she mentioned vaguely remembering him, better than nothing anyway. He glanced up at the snow coloured fae, almost seeming to blend into her surroundings, the sorrowful gaze that met his squashed any hope that beyond all odds somehow the information they'd gotten was wrong and Quinn was alive. But of course she wasn't, and Rose's next words just left absolutely no loopholes to look for hopeless possibilities. His ears leaned back on his head, eye's darting from left to right before returning to the small fae. "I am grateful for your words Miss Rose but I believe guilt is not going to be finished with me regardless for a bit longer yet" He mumbled sadly, gaze downcast as he sighed heavily- breath visible in front of him. His eyes widened as she spoke of her new rank, his head dipped in a small bow before he glanced back up. "Congratulations Alphess Rose, the circumstances involved with your promotion may be sad but I can see why Quinn picked you. You're going to make a great leader for Helidos and I hope to be able to serve and help you to the best of my abilities" He murmured sincerely, slightly deeper voice still soft as it danced in the crisp breeze. He listened curiously as she gave the full story, giving the occasional nod to show he was listening. "I will tell you what you told me about it not being your fault Rose but I know my words will not force away your guilt and in the end the only ones who can rid of it is ourselves and sometimes it's the greatest task of all" He spoke quietly, voice almost a whisper but loud enough for his company to hear. As she asked him about skills, he tilted his head to the side thoughtfully.

"I can heal and fight as you know, I can also hunt but I'm not particularly skilled at it. The one rank I definitely don't see myself really fitting is Autay. I was a Healer and Warrior here and a Warrior in Agavos although I did apply for Scout but it was given to a smaller fae. I've heard rumors now that she's Quinn's sister but I cannot be too sure. I know quite a bit about Agavos obviously, and I do know that Agavos' scout went to Erenyx and was caught by a wolf and held as a hostage and made participate in the war. Apparently Desmond traded another wolf in his pack for her and Teren accepted. They haven't shared any details of her time there though. I can assure you though that Desmond has no problems with Helidos, I don't think he likes Erenyx that much but he seems pretty neutral at the moment. He is an intelligent and respectable leader, I doubt he's the type to take advantage of Helidos' battering after the war" He stated, tail flicking from side to side. "I am willing to serve Helidos with whichever rank you need most Rose, if it's the best I can do to say sorry than I may as well get at it." He sat in silence then, awaiting her reply as the winds tugged at his pelt. After letting some words out into the open he felt slightly lighter, body seeming to calm and some of his spooked-ness retreated to the shadows.

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PostSubject: Re: My regrets own me [Rose] December 18th 2015, 21:34

Hmm... his knowledge, and his ease... surely he could be useful. She smirked weakly at the thought, shaking her head gently and standing up. She stretched, her decision was made. "You are right, there is nothing we can do about the past, but... there is something we can do about our future." She said quietly, her brown eyes studying the brute once more as she retreated slowly into her packs territories. She stopped when she was a few feet away, her playful smile finally returning. "Come, Scout Twelve, we must celebrate your return to Helidos." She turned around fully and expected him to follow her with no issue. They would talk more, but for now, she wished to have a meal and rest in her den. She pondered what she would send the new Scout on, a mission into Erenyx? She shrugged, for now... the brute would simply have a home to call his own. She trusted him, and with his vast knowledge, she knew she'd be seeing him again. Her eyes danced as she made her way deeper into their new home, she could only think about his reaction about his newly found rank. The welcome she had given, it wasn't harsh. She would keep her eyes on him, and monitor him, but she would also expect information on the other packs and the wolves within Helidos.


- Please change your name to "Scout Twelve" and apply to Helidos in the "Ranks" tab up above. -
Welcome home, Twelve.

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