Awoken Heart [Irratio & Teren]

In the winter's solace, the snow gently fell over the plain. Teren watched as the dens and shelters were covered with the cold white powder. His emerald eyes stared off into the pack clearing, unable to really focus on anything. He looked to a tree, the amount of snow which toppled over the branches appeared that it was going to bend and break, but the branch was resilient. His pack was resilient. They had been through so much, lost so little, but finding new wolves to join this form of life, this pack - was hard. Everyone was sure to hear the rumors, the gossip - filtering through the trees and from the mouths of babes. Erenyx was a danger zone. It was deadly, and would surely kill off the weak before they themselves would become such a thing. The Alpha stood up and allowed the snow to grace his broad backside. He wandered out from the security and cover of his den. His large emerald gaze stared out to the world around him. He was not tired, though he could feel the aches and pains within his joints. He was getting old. He was certain that if he should gaze into the waters of the nearby lake, he would find more grey and white hairs around his form than he had in previous years. No longer was Teren the pure midnight monster. But even in his best days, he was unhappy. Yes, he had won the war, he defeated his greatest adversary, but he no longer felt the joy from such victory. Nothing stirred him up anymore. He could smell the heat of the faes, knowing full well what was happening within their time with one another. Males were on edge, but not he. Another wolf who did not seem phased by the actions and smells, was Irrationality. That was the only wolf he wanted to be with. Not in the homosexual manner, but just as two males who liked the company of one another. Was that homosexual? Teren shook the idea from his mind, knowing full well he was not aroused by the idea of being with another male.

As he moved to the pack center, he moved to the den of the male he adored. He stopped at the entrance, knowing full well he would be allowed in with no hesitation. He paused and thought for a long moment. What exactly was he going to do? He didn't particularly want anything. On second thought, Teren changed his mind and turned away from the den without a word. Feeling slightly embarrassed, Teren turned from the den and headed out for the neutral lands. He could get away from this awkwardness he had established in his mind and just relax out somewhere else. It would have to be a place where he felt completely at ease. He moved from the border and rushed forward for a few moments. The bones and joints moved together, but the aches and pains swelled, so he slowed to a casual strut. His head was held high as always and his chest pushed forth with dignity. What the hell was I thinking? he thought to himself. The mighty Alpha made his approach on the neutral lands. He knew where he would go. Isle De Muerto. As he approached, he could see the tall peaks in the horizon.

He moved for the frozen stream and stood where the ice met the land. He took a deep breath, watching the breath filter through the air around him. He looked to the ice and for the first time in a long time, he stared at his reflection. In it, he saw the pain in his own eyes. His body was starting to break apart and he knew he would not have much more time on this earth. Soon he would be frolicking among the wolves of the other forest. This did not bother him, it was life after all. The journey at the end, was just the beginning to another start. He was okay with death, but if it was one thing he did not want, it was loneliness. He had pushed every female out of his life, forced all of them to hate him. No wolf would want to be with a monster who wasn't even sure if he was capable of loving. He had enjoyed his time with the Captive, and the one time with Braelyn, but that was not the same as being loved. His legacy would live on through the pitter patter of little paws, but there would be none he could turn to and say, "look what I have done". This thought forced the male to sigh as he picked up his paw and slammed it down onto the ice. He cracked it, seeing that the water was flowing gently beneath the ice shield covering over it. Teren realized that even when the outside was tarnished and ruined, the inside could be free and full of life. He rested his rump on the ground and watched as the snow began to fall, pulling his paw away from the water and resting it on the shore.

The light from outside was the only light he knew. The world didn't need the sun, because the snow, itself, seemed to bring everything to life and make it brighter. The chill, a relentless, frozen hand, seemed to have a hold on him, even when he was in his den, pressed against the wall, and clinging to a warmth that wasn't even there. The loneliness wasn't a burden to him as much as it was a part of him. He had grown to accept that he was a better version of himself when he was alone, and that realization wasn't only comfortable, but factual, because he did his best work when he knew he only needed to keep himself alive.

Because in keeping himself alive, he could keep his Alpha alive, and if it didn't always come back to his Alpha then chances were he had long since stopped breathing.

A shadow fell into his den, and while he couldn't see the wolf's face, a strange sixth sense inside of him clicked. The shadow disappeared, and in turn so did his thoughts, because to think of himself at such a time was ironically unthinkable. He peered outside, one face in mind, and when he saw it vanishing from camp, on a trail to somewhere he wanted to be, too, there was nothing imaginable that could've stopped him from doing the one thing he knew how to do best: To follow a lead.

He gave him his privacy because he wouldn't think to disturb him. Perhaps he knew that Irrationality had come with him. If he had thought for even a second that his visitation had gone unnoticed, then he was losing faith in his Beta, and that was unacceptable. He lead from the sidelines, but he was unquestionably present, unquestionably there, prepared to not only exist to serve him but to exist to be at his side. It didn't always need to be professional. It didn't always have to come back to their pack. Teren was allowed to be other than what he was - something of a monster, no? - and if he didn't believe that he need only look through his Beta's eyes, because it was his Beta, his alone, that saw nothing but the best in him.

When he thought it appropriate, better yet, when he thought it permitted, he approached. His ears were pulled forward, attentive, his eyes cast ahead, watchful, finding the ice beneath the mighty Alpha's paw at the exact moment it cracked and reading the symbolism inscribed in each branch of broken shards. "Tell me what is on your mind." Had it been anyone else, the words would've been spoken out of line but, in some semblance of the word, Irrationality felt entitled to knowing. His Alpha was someone he could protect and if, in the end, not from the world, then at least from his own mind.

Not long after the Alpha had discovered solitude, he was joined by another. If it had been anyone else, they would likely have been attacked. But as he felt the presence of eyes upon his back, Teren looked straight out. He breathed slowly, taking in the scent of the other, keeping himself calm. His statement, his command, was something that Teren never heard. Nobody told him what to do, and yet... Irrationality did. His heart skipped, or so it felt like it had. Perhaps a part of Teren deep down, wished to be forced to do something, something he was not used to doing. His ears enjoyed listening to the sweet sound of the other's voice. "I am afraid there is far too much to say what is on my mind. For so long I have been alone. I have been surrounded by a pack of wolves, and yet, I feel so alone. Nothing feels right anymore. I have defeated my foes, I have succeeded in swelling the bellies of bitches for my lineage to live on. Yet, I feel no joy in this. I feel nothing. Just as this ice before me, I have allowed myself to build a wall against my own feelings. I don't know what lies on the other side or what greatness I can achieve by it, but this layer has been growing since before I was already learning this was the way things went. For so long, I have lived within myself, destroying every good thought within my mind, and forcing the evil and malicious to seep out instead. But this river, this broken shell has shown me that there can be so much more to life. You can have it both ways, I suppose." As he stopped speaking, he turned around to face his Beta, his most trusted companion. His eyes smoldered as he stared upon the form of the wolf before him. He had seen Irrationality for a million times and before nothing had ever struck him so. Did he feel safe knowing this male was here with him? Did he feel longing? Teren didn't know what to think anymore. All he knew was that he wanted so much for something different to happen. His senses, his clouded thoughts, they all cleared when it came to Irrationality. He sat back down, still facing Irrationality, not sure exactly what to say or what to do. His voice was calm and soothing, deep and sultry. "What brings you out here? Do you remember this place?"

The Alpha felt alone.

Out of everything that was said - and he hung from every word, failing to breathe - that stood out to him, because even though it was spoken as a word he heard it as a scream. It resonated inside of him, poked a hole in his mechanical heart, and opened his eyes to the weight of his own failure. As Teren's Beta, as his servant, he had devoted every piece of himself to ensuring the safety and the prosperity of his superior because he had believed it was what he wanted most. He hadn't thought it possible for Teren to feel anything more deeply than his reign, let alone lonely, and that he hadn't seen that, that he hadn't caught that, made each intake of air unworthy of fuelling his life.

He had failed in the most painful way, because his Alpha had needed a companion more than another mere subordinate, and he hadn't given that to him. Perhaps he didn't deserve a chance to right his wrong, and perhaps his Alpha hadn't even taken into consideration that his Beta desired forgiveness; when he turned to face him and took a seat, Irrationality stepped forward. He wasn't invited closer, but he didn't need an invitation. If his Alpha felt plagued by his own loneliness, then it was Irrationality's job, as his Beta, to fix it, and he would do everything - he would do anything - to fix it because through fixing it, he would fix himself and again become worthy of his place.

"This is where I became your Beta." It required no thought. He would never forget the place, nor the moment, that he was brought into power and entrusted to carry out Teren's rule. Ever since that day, the wolf in front of him had become the center of his universe. He was at his bidding, and he would be at his bidding until one of them was dead. It was a powerful loyalty, a dangerous loyalty, but it created a bond of unspoken trust because it quite simply couldn't be put into words. "I was brought here by you. I noticed that you approached my den, and I couldn't forgive myself if you needed me and I wasn't there." Had his eyes softened? It was impossible to tell, because his eyes remained blank, almost void, but unquestionably serious.

There was nothing that couldn't be asked of him, and he hoped that was common knowledge between them. There had been a time when Irrationality had attacked a packmate - Chiara, a former Guardian - because it was asked of him. It was commanded of him. Teren's word was the law, and when he had been told to fight her, to remind her of her place, everything else faded away and he was left with nothing but his job to rely on. His didn't have an instinct that was his own. It was a manifestation of his superior's, and it would never be anything else.

"You can ask anything of me, and I will do it." Another step. "If you're unhappy, my Alpha, it would be my privilege to be of any service I can be. That's what I'm here for." There was no trace of dishonesty in his words, and especially not in his face. While he didn't get any closer, he didn't need to in order to make his point. Nothing was too much. Everything was too little. Irrationality was bound to serve, and he would have it no other way, and to no other Alpha. He existed in Teren's advantage, and it would be wasteful not to make the most of the obedience inside of him that knew no limit.

Administrator Posts : 18 Join date : 2015-11-02

– F O R E C A S T –

The snow begins to fall gently as the winds pick up their speed. Should you find shelter? Or should you seek the companionship of one another?

ⒶⓀⒾ of Adoxography and GS

The demon you were warned about

"That is correct, but mostly it is where I discovered I could learn to trust another once again. When I saw you in the pack clearing, I knew there was something special about you. Unlike the others, you did not question me, but seemed to understand why I had killed your previous Alpha. Steele was not deserving of such a rank. No, he was a fool." As he spoke, the winds picked up and the snow fall poured onto their backs. The Alpha knew there was no sense of shelter in this place. It was just a plain land, with mountains and a river. "Everything I have asked of you, you have completed in the ways I knew you would. I know you are a powerful companion, but in our alone time, I like to consider you a 'friend'. You are the first I have had for my whole life. I appreciate your loyalty. For now the only thing I ask is that you sit beside me, sharing the body heat from one another to get through this storm. I do not fear the weather or the storms. Nothing scares me, not even death." He turned his head to look at Irrationality, seeking his eyes. He was unsure how the other felt around him, but there was more that Alpha needed to say.

"Irrationality, I have mated with many faes in my time. In the past, I mated with every single one that was brought to our camp. I had the very first round, of course, then I allowed my pack to have their fun. Of these faes, only one birthed a brute that I knew to be mine. He was black, like I was once in my youth, and his eyes - they were just like his mother's. They were a sterling silver color. It was almost incredible watching him grow. In his first year of life, he proved his worth to me. He took to training quickly, knowing exactly what he needed to do. He was strong and persistent. When it came time to fight his own family, he slaughtered them. I named him Azrael the Sinister. He lived under my rule for years, until he betrayed me. He allowed a prisoner to escape and fled the lands with her. But nothing feels the same anymore... Not even after taking Erenyx for myself, and mating with the Captive and the Delta female of our pack. I feel nothing, just empty. I have never felt this way before. Am I missing something?" He stared to his ally, looking at him as he tried to find the answer from him. For he was unable to find the answers within himself.

MOOD: Confused

Irrationality

449

NOTES: Sorry for the wait

ⒶⓀⒾ of Adoxography and of GS

» Honor is in the heart, not the name.
» A Heart's Entreaty
» Heart Shaped Box
» Hello, My Old Heart [Border]
» With The Heart of a Guardian [Malachai]

Awoken Heart [Irratio & Teren]

Awoken Heart [Irratio & Teren]

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